steph-is-cuteaf-btw:

You ever look at your art and just think “This isn’t good enough, I’m sure I can do better than this” but no matter how much improve, or how fast, that feeling never goes away and it leaves you with this sense of perpetual disappointment in yourself. Friends assure you that “No really it looks awesome”, part of you knows that it is good but then the ‘not good enough’ comes back around and suddenly compliments seem patronizing and insincere even when you know they’re not. You push your abilities a bit more than you have before, you make something you can finally be proud of only to see all the flaws in it and everything you could have done differently three days later. It’s a frustrating cycle that never seems to end and you question “why do I keep doing this? Am I just stuck with art because it’s all I’ve ever been good at? Is this what I really want to do?” The only consolation prize comes right at the perfect moment while you’re still proud of what you made and the overwhelming inferiority hasn’t set in yet. It comes in the form of a compliment. Maybe just one or two but in that moment, at the peak of the high, that one compliment is what you’ve been chasing. Somebody else acknowledging that you are good enough and in that moment nothing could make you happier. So the cycle resets, you chase the high and you get better. Some highs last longer than others and some lows are especially treacherous. Sometimes it’s easier to turn the struggle into a competition, sometimes you want to give up altogether.