Jason: yup and you’re 18 so you know what that means
Dick: jason no
Jason:i got you a pack of cigarettes for your birthday gift!
Tim: uhh, thanks but… i don’t really plan on taking up that habit
Jason: wow golly gee. That’s a real shame right there. Huh guess i have no choice but to enjoy these myself. Welp it’s the thought that counts right timbo
Tim: yeahh, thanks Jason…
Steph: anyyyway, i got a cake, your favorite!
Dick: no, gifts first!
Damian: indeed. Opening presents should be top priority.
Duke: I’m hungry and there are a lot of presents so I vote cake!
Cass: …cake would be… nice
Alfred: might we let master Tim decide? It is his special day after all
Bruce: Tim, cake or gifts first?
Tim: cake!!!
[Rolls out cake]
Tim: wow Alfred it looks great! But… and I’m not complaining it’s just… it says I’m 17
Alfred: ? Indeed you are master Tim
Tim: uhh, this is my 18th birthday. We already established that
Damian: -tt- what are you on about, Drake? Just blow out the candles
Tim: but… [sees the banner above that now reads happy “17th birthday” instead of “18th” birthday]
Tim: but… but…
Dick: r u feeling okay, Tim?
Tim: jason u know I’m 18 now right? You literally just tried to give me cigarettes for my birthday?
Dick: jason you did what??
Jason: i didn’t I swear! I got him a pair of socks, white and plain like him. Although thanks, Replacement, now i know what you want for next year i guess
Steph: tim… you’re 17…
Tim: no I’m not! Here I’ll get my drivers license… [looks at license]
Tim: but this says I was born in… no i was born a year earlier than this! Guys something is really wrong!
Duke: dude ur really starting to freak us out
Bruce: tim… i assure you that today is your 17th birthday
Tim: … today is my 17th birthday? Is… that can’t be… is today really my 17th?
Dick: yeah and congrats on turning 17, Tim! You’re finally a dancing queen!!
Duke: just think next year you’ll be an adult!
Tim: ha… yeah… next year… it’s just… i feel like I’ve heard that before
Tim: ha, must be tired. Oh well! [Blows out candles] happy 17th birthday for me, I guess
Kon: hey, so how does it feel to be an adult?
Tim: what? Conner, I’m 17
Kon: no… you were 17 last year
Tim: haha, how could I be 17 last year if I’m 17 this year?
Tim [grabs conner by his collar, whispering]: please Kon help me i don’t know what’s happening
Conner: w-what
Tim [smiling with normal voice]: so are we gonna just stand here or are we going for coffee?
Kon: wait- help you with what?? What’s wrong??
Tim: help me? Conner what are you talking about? Nothing’s wrong.
Kon:
Kon: nothing… I… yeah lets just go get some coffee…
Kon: I’m telling you he was acting super weird
Bart: what you mean?
Kon: he kept insisting that he was still 17
Bart: that’s because he is 17?
Kon: ugh not you, too! He can’t stay 17 forever!!
Bart: conner you can’t say things like that. They’ll hear you. just let this go, please
Kon: who’s “they”?????
Bart: pfft, ever consider the possibility that you might be wrong? It’s not a big deal you got your dates mixed up, you’re totally overreacting
Kon:
Kon: I’m gonna get to the bottom of this if it’s the last thing I do
Tim: hey, has anyone heard from Conner? He won’t pick up his phone.
Damian: -tt- Jonathon Kent is Superboy, Drake. Who is this “conner?”
Tim: oh, well, he’s… he’s..
Tim: huh. Nevermind I guess. Weird.
Tim [staringatSuperman merchandise]: hey ever try to convince Clark to change his suit to red and black?
Bruce: hnn, i doubt the boyscout would ever go for that idea
Tim: i guess not… Bruce do u ever feel like… something’s missing… and there’s this empty hole in your chest. Like someone you loved with all your heart is just… gone
Bruce: whenever i look at this Superman garbage i too feel a sense of emptiness and pity for the world
Tim:
Tim: ha, well, maybe we should sue them for not having enough Batman merchandise! The nerve. the audacity. I don’t know about you but I’m traumatized
Bruce: hmm…
Tim: no dear god Bruce i was kidding do not sue these nice people
Dick: Tim? Tim, what’s wrong?
Tim [crying]: i don’t know.. i feel like everyone I cared about has died before? even though I know they’re alive? Steph… Bart… Conner.
Dick: conner? You keep mentioning him but
Tim: i know you say he doesn’t exist! But if that’s true then why do i feel so bad? Why do i miss him so much?
Dick: i- i don’t know, Tim. But… maybe you should get some help
Tim: this isn’t about me! Something is wrong with the universe! Something is missing! This isn’t how the world is supposed to be. Conner is out there somewhere and I’m going to find him
Dick: tim… i don’t want them to erase you, too
Tim: what? Who’s “them”? Dick, please, tell me what you know
Dick: I’m sorry but I’m calling Bruce. You’re not making any sense, you, well, you sound crazy
Tim: i… maybe i…
Tim: no! I’m not going to let you convince me, to trick me into thinking everything’s okay again!
Dick: wait- Tim, come back!!
Bruce: Tim, please you don’t want to do this
Tim: you’re right. I don’t. But I have to
Dick: tell us what’s wrong. We can help you, okay? Talk to us
Tim: no! You won’t believe me
Cass: try us…
Tim:
Tim: I’ve – I’ve figured it out. This world, this universe, it’s not real! We’re all characters in the story and *he’s* the main character. He’s Batman. If I kill the protagonist, go off-script, then the universe will have to reboot.
Tim: that’s the only way they’ll bring back Conner
Damian: this “conner” doesn’t exist, Drake! You’ve gone insane!
Duke: is Conner really worth killing your own father? Worth destroying a family who loves you?
Jason: yeah if anyone is gonna shoot Bruce’s brains out it should be me! Rude
Stephanie: and what are you gonna do after Bruce is dead and you realize you’re wrong? When you’ve realized you’ve killed a man in cold blood
Tim: then drag me to Arkham or kill me! I don’t care. I can’t… i can’t keep living like this. I can’t. I… it hurts too much. It’s all wrong
Dick: then let us help you. Put down the gun and we’ll figure this out together okay?
Cass: yes… we believe you but… please don’t kill
Tim: i wouldn’t do this if there was any other way
Bruce: there’s always another way. Tim i love you, but you’re sick right now. Please let us help you. I know you’re in a lot of pain but we’ll figure it out. You’ve always come through in the end, and I’ve always been so proud of you
Tim: I’m… I’m sorry
Bruce: tim… don’t…
Tim [whispering]: I’m sorry
[TimshootsandkillsBruce]
[:::Ti*m]:::
[T//]
[(P)KILL(p)]
[%&^#]]///B///R●●///U¤¤///C//ww/]]E~~
****[@@@@@]]]]]]******* ******* * * **
Batman is afictional superhero appearing in American comic books
published by DC Comics. The character was created byartist Bob Kane and writerBillFinger,[1][2] and first
appeared in DetectiveComics#27, in 1939.Originally named the “Bat-Man”,
thecharacter is alsoreferred tobysuch
epithetsasthe Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight, and
theWorld’s Greatest Detective.[5]
Dick: Hey Little, D, pass the salt
DukeandDamian:sure
Damian: he was referring to *me* Thomas
Duke: hey, I was Little D wayyy before you showed up and stole my spot as Robin!
Damian: -tt- it was my birthright. And I stole nothing. You were “Red Robin” because you were too much of a coward to take Jason’s place even though he was dead!
Jason: pfft, i wasn’t *that* dead
Dick: guys please not this again
Jason: yeah i don’t have any popcorn to enjoy this
Dick: i… Damian, could you pass the salt?
Damian: told you he was talking to me
Duke: Dick, seriously?
Dick: well, you’re not exactly “little” anymore. Damian on the other hand…
Damian: hey!
Bruce [not bothering to look up from his newspaper]: Damian, please pass the salt to Dick. Don’t worry, i was that size when i was your age. You’ll grow. Duke, no one replaced you. I love all my children equally
Steph: but Cass is his favorite
Cass: it’s true… but you shouldn’t say it
Dick: hmm. you look troubled, Bruce
Bruce: hnn, that family that went missing all those years ago…
Dick: our neighbors? The Drakes? What happened?
Bruce: …
Dick [sad]: oh so they’re… oh
Bruce: all three found at the bottom of Gotham Harbor
Steph: do they know who did it?
Bruce: …no work talk at breakfast
Bruce:
Bruce:
Bruce [sad]: their son was only nine years old
Dick: i remember seeing him at the Christmas galas… i never even said hi…
[Moment of silence]
Damian [determined]: don’t worry, father. It’s our job to make sure that doesn’t happen again, not in our city
test 