I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:
Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.
Think about it.
Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.
Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.
They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.
Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.
The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.
Everybody wins. Nobody dies.
THE SHAKESPERE AU I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED
DUDE DID YOU JUST FIX ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC PLAYS EVER CREATED?!
ONCE AGAIN EVERYTHING IS SOLVED BY THE QUEER LENS.
My brain is saying “The Importance of Being Earnest” but idk
A legendary demon cat is said to haunt
the Capitol Building in Washington, DC.
The cat allegedly appears before major
tragedies and was reportedly seen by
White House guards shortly before both
JFK and Abe Lincoln were assassinated.
Though the cat hasn’t been seen in years,
some say a set of paw prints in the floor
by the Old Supreme Court Chamber
are proof of its existence. SourceSource 2
Sometimes, a male octopus gets
eager and tries to mate with a female
too many times, so she strangles him
and takes him back to her den to feed
on for the next few days. Source
Wallabies make crop circles when
they get stoned. Australia supplies
about half of the world’s legally-grown
opium, but when wallabies get into the
poppy fields, they eat the seed pods,
get high as a kite, and run around
in circles until they come down. SourceSource 2
Love love LOVE you all! Extra loves for all my Valentines out there ;3 Hope you all have great Valentines days with or without chocolate. Either way chocolate is half off the next day!
i can’t fucken believe that one of the main arguments against wind farms is that they’re an eyesore
do you know what’s an even bigger eyesore?
not having fuckin trees or coral reefs or glaciers or any number of incredible natural beauties because fossil fuels and pollution and global fuckin warming killed it all dead
test 