hi anon! the post described it pretty well imo, but i’ll try to elaborate _(:3
while i can’t speak for everyone, myself and some of my friends who have spoken about this in the past feel that the issue mainly stems from the fact that these are fictional teenage boys who are being labeled as “team mom” just for exhibiting feminine traits (deemed as such by generalized societal constructs) and that reinforces gender stereotypes that are both heteronormative and harmful.
it says “boys/men can’t be caring/supportive/emotional. those traits are feminine, they’re for girls!” and therefore cements into them that they can’t express these traits without fear of being deemed feminine or girly. the notion that they have to suppress these kinds of feelings isn’t fair. everyone deserves the right to exhibit those traits! everyone feels those emotions! they’re healthy and good and worth being expressed! they’re not reliant specifically on gender and that notion is really silly.
it also says “well there can’t be two DADS” which like ???? and suggests that dads can’t exhibit “mom-like” traits which is also ????? let me just throw out the radical idea here that dads are allowed to be caring/emotional/supportive!!! amazing!!!! like, these are not gender-specific traits and it’s a shame they’ve been programmed into our minds to be as such. that needs to end imo.
also i agree wholeheartedly with the OP and other poster on that post that suga does not exhibit these kinds of traits as frequently as the fandom thinks he does. his canon characterization is purposefully shoved aside for little to no reason whatsoever so they can force him into this role. that’s why the other poster made that bullet list of distinctions btwn daichi and suga. daichi exhibits these “”“mom traits”“” way more often than suga, yet he’s always been referred to by the fandom as “team dad.” why is that, do you think? because suga is more feminine aesthetically, he’s pretty. that’s like…the only reason?? and that’s a problem.
like the other posters, i love love love found family/team/friend group parent kinds of dynamics. they’re fun!! but not when the characters are being shoehorned into those roles just for the heck of it and not when, like mentioned in the original post, they’re being aggressively and unnecessarily gendered in the process. basically: they can both be team dad, there’s nothing wrong with that. the “prettier” of them doesn’t have to be the “mom.”
his canon characterization is purposefully shoved aside for little to no reason whatsoever so they can force him into this role.
why is that, do you think? because suga is more feminine aesthetically, he’s pretty. that’s like…the only reason?? and that’s a problem.